Sometimes, I just don't know where to start.

I have a lot of stressors in my life, but doesn't everybody? Who doesn't worry about family, health, making ends meet? We all do.

I had a full house for the past five days and let me tell you, it was...well, I just don't really quite have the words.

Between dealing with my boyfriend's shellshocked kids (shuttled back and forth between two homes, different rules at each place, too much sugar, step-parents who all do things a little differently) and his parents (older, set in their ways, worrying about everything) it was alot to take.

My boyfriend had to work part of the time so it fell to me to entertain and feed everyone for two days. I never cooked, cleaned, or ran the dishwasher so much in my life. I never mediated so many arguments. It was exhausting.

It's not like I am a homemaker...although I do tend a house and grocery shop and cook, I also have a full time job. I am also not a mom, I was sort of thrust into that position, and the more I do it, the more confidence I gain. My boyfriend's children listen to me, even if they don't like it or agree with me, they do what I tell them to.

Its hard when you are an adult with as many responsibilities as I have when someone else's parents question your abilities or second guess you. But I am not a child. I've had adult responsibilities for quite some time and I actually know what I am doing (surprisingly, but its true, I really do). It's hard to bite your tongue when your SO's mom might be a little rude, probably not on purpose, but just says outrageous things that you don't really know how to answer, like when my boyfriend's mom wanted to know how much a cleaning service costs in this area - it leaves me with a few thoughts: are you implying that my house is dirty? (it is not, btw, it was pretty spotless and uncluttered although the vaccuum needs to be run due to five days of people trampling through the house) Surely she must have asked out of genuine curiosity, right? I should have called her on it.

She had a number of other things to say, involving my boyfriend's impending divorce, about the cost...and I say, if you were really that worried about the price, maybe you should offer him some financial help?

Nevermind, the fact is, I am assertive enough to handle this crap even if it does piss me off. I've got a lot going on in my life, so if she thinks SHE has a lot to worry about, perhaps we should switch places for a bit and then maybe she'd STFU. I am sure she has a lot going on too, and I don't meant to be unsympathetic, there are health problems she has to deal with, etc., and retirement and a fixed income...again, I know no one's life is perfect, but being a worrywart doesn't improve the situation or help out at all.

There's a lot to be said about having a positive attitude and looking on the bright side, searching for the opportunity amid the rubble. Life can be difficult, but you have to make it work. You cannot ever just give up, because time just keeps moving forward and if you don't learn to cope, you get left behind. Worrying about shit that has little chance of occurring is unproductive. There's a difference between having a longterm outlook with plans for various outcomes in place and worrying about getting into an accident on a freeway out of state. I prefer to concentrate on reality.

ANYWAY, I need a nap. A long one.